who do you love? democrats: the 2014 musical campaign launch!

Kailua, Hawaii

Hi, folks; thanks for joining us here in the great state of Hawaii for our rally ahead of the upcoming elections.  Tell me again: Who do you love?  That’s right, Democrats!  The Party of the People!  Let’s give it up for Bo Diddley, shall we?  He came out of retirement just do this campaign kickstarter.

What’s that?  Bo died in 2008?  Heh; well, you know I was pretty busy that year.  What?  Oh, Axelrod’s telling me that Rahm resurrected him.  Well, hmmm; he always said not to let a good corpse go to waste, didn’t he?

Oh: Plouffe’s offstage yelling ‘crisis!’; that was Rahm’s thing.  Oh, sorry, Rahm, but thanks.  It’s great to see Bo.  In fact, I named The first First Dog after him, heh.

Now…now…you know that I told you a couple weeks ago that year six of my Presidency will be largely about income inequality in the great nation of ours, and so will the Democratic Leadership’s, which is why I invited them to come here today to speak to you.  We might take a few whacks at climate change, too.  I’m scheduled to meet with some of the leaders in energy industry next month, and see what we can come up with while we drink a few beers, share a few noshes, and see what they’ll give us.

But I wanted to let you know that while some of you are still feeling some financial pain, the future is looking brighter than you know.  Homeless numbers are down, especially among veterans due to my help.  There are fewer folks living in shelters now, and it’s a good thing that they’re not living on the street, where conditions are very rough now, from what I’ve heard.  But never fear, the head of my Economic Council Gene Sperling is on the case!

I’ve gotten word that Senator Darrell Issa may be on board to restore the cuts to military pensions, and we’ll try like hell not to accept it as conditional on cutting Saturday delivery by the Post Office.  Unemployment rates are also down, and almost everywhere I go folks thank me for that.  Many even report that they’re working two or three of them, and that soon they may be signing up for ObombaCare.  And that’s a good thing.  Now, now: hold your applause.

I’d planned to introduce Senator Jack Reed to you, but he had trouble rescheduling his tee time here at the Marine Corps base course.  Heh, speaking of which, I had a great outing yesterday on the course with my good friend New Zealand Prime Minister John Key; man, he just killed me on that number 2 hole with the dogleg.

Anyway, Jack Reed wanted me to tell you about the bill he and Republican Bill Keller will introduce and fast-track on Monday…no…maybe Wednesday.  First up is confirming Janet Yellen as Fed Chair.  No, no; hold your applause, please.  Thanks.  In a bipartisan effort, they are calling for a three month extension of unemployment benefits for the 1.3 million affected by the cut-off date this week.  Jack says that lots of the 49,000 affected in Rhode Island were hard-working managers, dammit,  that they by golly are due some benefits, and that his bill will ease their mental torment.

And now I’d like to introduce Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from the great state of Nevada to let you know where the Democratic Party is heading in 2014.  Harry?

Thank you, Mr. President, and hello everyone; I’m Harry Reid.  It’s great that you could join us here today to enjoy this fine island, and partake of our little festival.  Don’t you think ‘Who Do You Love’ is a great theme song for the coming campaign?  You know that the Democrats will always have your back.  And the nice thing about it is it’s not only due to our great compassion, but the fact that for instance, extending unemployment compensation is just plain good sense, since the multiplier effect is said to be so great, and that just this extension will lead to a couple hundred thousand new jobs, since these folks will be spending it all as soon as they get their checks on groceries, rent, utilities, maybe even an ObombaCare policy.  Demand equals…new jobs, of course.

Now the President mentioned that Janet Yellen will be confirmed at the first of the week, and we have every confidence that she will keep her word to us and provide more stimulus to the economy, which will also create more new jobs.  And we have a few plans of our own, but they’re secret plans, and you’ll have to wait for the surprise we have in store for you.

Our party has figured out from recent polling that income inequality and a rise in the minimum wage might well be a winner for us in the next cycle, so we’re willing to go out on a limb on those issues for you.  Over my life in the Senate, I’ve come to value pragmatism combined with fairness, and that’s what we have in mind for 2014.

Now it’s not clear that the Reed/Heller bill has much Republican support in the house…yet.  But we have one weapon that may just turn the tide: the House Minority Whip, Steny Hoyer.  By the way, we have the lovely Nancy Pelosi to thank for securing that job for him; hee hee.  And Steny has told us that indeed, he will whip it!  He couldn’t be here with us today; I think I heard that he has a cold.  Um…I’m not quite sure about this, but…

Are those fine lads ready back there?  Okay, without further ado, for the great Representative Hoyer we bring you….er…Devo?:

Hi, folks.  I’m Gene Sperling, and as the President indicated, our Council has some great ideas for joblessness, and we’ll be letting the President in on some of them soon.  We’ll continue with our “Road Map to Renewal”, and will add a few things as well.  but in the meantime, any of you out there in America who are able-bodied, not on drugs, and true patriots, let me bring in the Silhouettes from the good old days to advise you.  Please look up at the giant screen over the stage now; we borrowed it from the Marines’ Officers Club.  Thank you, Happy New Year to you; and god bless America!

(cross-posted at My.Firedoglake.com)

8 responses to “who do you love? democrats: the 2014 musical campaign launch!

  1. Barry, MO and Sunny/BO; Stooges, ALL ! :

  2. but very cagey stooges, eh? :) not to mention as hypocriticaly self-serving as hell.

  3. There has to be something other than politics for the coming generations – I really can’t see them following any of these stooges by any political registrations whatsoever (I already cringe to be a Green after watching the antics of the Aussie politician in the Antarctic – by the way I used to go to the town hall in my uncle’s country town, sit on a long hard bench to watch the three stooges – never thought they were funny at all. But that was just me.

    I think the party’s over.

  4. do you mean ‘something other than party politics’, or other than the ones that are registered as parties now? or are you imaging more of a direct, or horizontal democracy? or localized areas voting more ‘social movement’ policies, then meeting to discuss, vote, etc.? that revolution video i kept swearing to put up (plus a few relevant links) seemed to think that entities akin to city states might form post-nonviolent revolution, but i can’t remember exactly. the thing is somewhere in my inbox which now has over 14,000 kb worth if emails, oy, so finding it will be…hell.

    but have we heard from the greens, or even the self-appointed green shadow government. not much.

    but yes, they are stooges to the oligarchy, and living in hopes of being first through the revolving door to multinationals and serving the lords of capital more directly.

    oh, and miz shiva is the goddess of anti-gmo’s, and you can find many many of her speeches on youtube. i’ve used quite a few of them over the years. you’ll also enjoy this john stanton piece; he compares pope francis to malcolm x :)

    sadly, he profiled folks like me in the piece, or my internet connectivity, lol.

    also, this is fun: ted rall’s ‘Voted to Screw the Unemployed Before Talking About Not Voting to Screw the Unemployed‘

    just in the nick of time for this diary.

    but hell’s bells; i’d thought this diary was hilarious, seems not many folks did; ah well…

  5. The point of Vandana’s latest one is as her heading claims, small is really beautiful. That might rather seem to go against the attempt to bring everyone into a common political camp such as a party, or even to bring them into a protest or a scientific expedition or, dare I say, a movement.

    Her small essay was so refreshingly true, that I had myself to re-evaluate how my mind saturates itself with global predicaments whilst neglecting the turning of the soil in my own backyard, waiting now for spring’s fecundity.

    Time has told me my ‘political’ efforts disappear into the cauldron of simmering ideas, and that my best use of diminishing energies are to focus on what I can do – I’m sounding very much like realitychecker here, but that is what one does – check constantly on the reality of life, which in itself is so full of promise.

    But don’t mistake me – there has to be room for both those who do well on a large scale and those who do it microscopically like the hidden fungi which sustain us all.

  6. Sorry, that’s me above – forgot to key in my little kiwi!

  7. glad you identified yourself, miz kiwi. :) but if politics is the interaction and inter-relatedness between people, yes, we lead by example as the best way; isn’t that what buddhism implies, or outright says? and yes, what we do daily to help the planet can reach far beyond our individual efforts and results…some of the time, any way.

    and yes to ‘far better to light one candle than curse the world’, as some of the worst do in helplessness, cynicism and abject rage. but so is agitating for truth over lies and their attendant oppression of the rabble class, although my mind’s pictures are darting about wildly. at some point, we need to find commonality with folks who would like to see both society and government lead to sustainable, equitable, and just policies and for as many as possible, and that ‘coming together’ often gives rise to broader movements, broader politics.

    on what used to be called ‘the Left’, there are so many single issues promoted or railed against, that even the more natural alliances aren’t made; will that change soon with so many crises staring us down? we can hope so, and one banner should be a worker’s party that understands the limits of capitalism, and that the planet ‘s well-being is also the key to a sustainable future.

    so, yes to both, ww.

  8. Last night, with the benefit of this worthy but admittedly spied upon medium, I visited an early Alec Guinness gem, “The Detective”. This lovely little piece caused me to reflect upon his later guest appearances in such as the Star Wars megaworks, and to see how the two form a continuous narrative of his philosophy as an actor. Simply delightful.

    This morning, too, I tried to watch a video of Bill Moyers conversing about the new Pope – it was jamming, so I went to the comments -this was on nakedcapitalism.com. Frankly, the comments were trash. I left.

    And I wonder, is it just by such efforts as appearing as Obi ben Kanobi (or whatever his name was) that the seeds of Guiness’s genius get distributed? For those who loved him there might perhaps do the research available online and find “The Detective” who solves his crime with the philosophy that ‘there, but for the grace of God, go I’. (And for added temptation to us oldies, a very beautiful young Peter Finch appears also in the movie. To go with his well remembered rant against corporatism in, I think, “Network”.)

    If that is leading by example, which I would agree it is, it is the most subtle form of such leadership. I do love Mr. Guiness’s smile in this movie, radiant even in black and white.

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